Sunday, February 28, 2016

Indian households: The war field



Attention all the soldiers! (or is there a female term for soldier?? assuming that the word is unisex, I continue...)
Your schedule for the month is published. [Well nothing new is there. It has been the the same for years.. or centuries??? Well, doesn't matter]

Morning Session. (Shift for Cook- Role played by wife)

05.30 AM- 6.00 AM Breakfast Cooking [Cooking lunch if wife is working. Starting time subject to change according to the requirement of husbands and children.]
6.00 AM  Wake up call for kids (Shift for Nanny - role played by mother/wife)
6.15 AM  Bathing kids, potty training (Shift for Nanny- role played by mother)
6.30 AM  Cooking Tea and preparing milk with supplements (Shift for Cook- Role played by wife/mother)
6.35 AM  Getting kids ready ( Shift for Nanny - role played by mother)
7.00 AM Serving breakfast for kids and husband (Shift for maid/cook/nanny- role played by mother/wife)
7.05 AM Cribbing on quality of food and number of side dishes (Role played by kids and husbands)
7.05 AM Listening to cribbing while packing tiffin (Shift for none since no servants would listen to B*LL $H@T- Role played by mother/ wife)
7.15 AM  Husband and kids leave for office and school/college.

Well, If wife/mother is working, getting ready for office could be added. and yes if you stay with In-laws,  * Conditions Applied.

My dear readers,

Are you bored reading this! This is the daily routine of 90% women. You just read the two hours in the Morning session. 
Noon session, Evening session  and night session still remains. After all this, cleaning up the mess!! Phew!
They live this same life for years and years but fortunately or unfortunately they never get bored.  All they ask for is appreciation. 
                                                                                                    Photo courtsey www.west-info.eu

Don't think that an unemployed house wife is doing lesser job than a working house wife. Working house wives get the consideration of a employed woman at least. They go out of house and face a change in atmosphere at least. But for an unemployed house wife, even that is a luxury. And the taunt beginning with " You are just sitting inside the house, I travel whole day, You just have to work inside a 1000 sqft house, you don't have to take responsibilities."

Dear husbands and children, 

Before complaining about the quality of food, unironed clothes, unkempt floor etc, please put yourself in their shoes and see for yourself. Just think if you would be able to handle so much things alone.

Dear wives, 

Please let your family know the value of what you do. When husband insist on having channa curry and kids on paneer curry, instead of making both, make them understand that it is difficult without a help, instead of spoiling them by fulfilling all their silly obstinacy.
                     Photo Courtsey : http://www.returnofkings.com

Why is it considered unmanly to help one's wife? 
I am so proud to say that my mother was blessed with a husband who used to lend his hand in household chores. He used to do the dishes, tie up my hair, sweep the floor. Except cooking, he could do anything. When I used to tell this to my friends, they used to think that I was lying. Because such a thing was unbelievable and unheard of. It was not that he was jobless. He was a Gazetted officer himself. He was brought up in a scenario where he never witnessed his own father help his wife. Still he volunteered to help his wife because he loved her and respected her for what she did.  So, it has nothing to do with what you witness at home.This is all about your heart which accommodates respect.
 And don't forget, this started thirty years back. So which century are you living in? Still brooding the house hold work for wife attitude??

I have heard men who decided to stay back home to let his wife work, being termed a 'Sisupalans'. Why? If you don't intend to help your wife, that's your problem. Why do you try to belittle those who are willing to?

My aunt used to say that a housewives job is a thankless and pay-less job. No appreciation, No pay, No union. In an office there would be performance appraisal, but when there is no pay at all, what's the point in appraisal!! 

For an instance just imagine replacing your wife with a maid and see for yourself what she deserve. 
Cook: 9000 per month
Nanny : 15000 per month
House hold maid: 5000 per month for Sweeping and wiping. 
+ 50 for everything extra like washing clothes, doing dishes, washing bathrooms.
Cumulatively nearly thirty thousand per month.
What I cited is the least pay package. The real one is something else. 

 If you are one among the husbands who used to say, 
"Oh! my wive's attire sucks. Her night wear looks dirty and sweaty."

"Dude, if your want her look like a diva, lend a hand. Because the divas you oggle at never have to do what she does"

This is not only a husband's job. Children should do their share of work. They might be studying but that doesn't mean that they should not wash a plate that they eat from. If they can wash their clothes and plates in a hostel, why don't they do it at home? Because, if they don't do it, their mother will.

 Haven't you all heard of the year old dialogue " You are a girl. You have to manage a home when you grow up and get married. So study household chores." This dialogue is the first seed to this discrimination which sprouts in the mind of both boys and girls. The moment you stop speaking this at home. The change starts. 


PS: Fortunately, I am blessed with help at home,a h usband whose lends a hand and a father who taught his children that it's not just the woman's job. Hence I did not have to face the predicament. So none of the sentences above points fingers to my better half.

I am joining the Ariel #ShareTheLoad campaign at BlogAdda and blogging about the prejudice related to household chores being passed on to the next generation.